Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
