id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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