that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
