I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
