Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
