It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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