it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
