She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
