Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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