Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
