everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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