I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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