im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
