Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
