YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
