so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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