id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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