I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
