5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
