I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
