what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
