let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
