Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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