I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
