So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
