No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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