So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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