is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
