he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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