Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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