pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
only if we run a train.
done.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
