so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
