Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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