i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
