You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
