I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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