I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
