And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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