Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
