just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
