i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
