this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
