so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
