I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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