WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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