stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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