she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
