I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can't turn off my feet"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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