I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
