yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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