True but thats because hes a fetus.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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